Monday, October 14, 2013

Book Review: The Open-Hearted Way to Open-Adoption, by Lori Holden with Crystal Hass

I picked this book up on a whim at the library last week.  The title piqued my interest because we have an open adoption.

This is a great book for anyone involved in the adoption process or contemplating an open adoption.  The authors are the birth mother and the adoptive mother in (what I would call) a very open adoption.  I call it very open because they seem to have very frequent contact with both of the biological parents.

The authors very thoroughly explain how open adoption benefits the child with reconciling the "split" between his/her biology and biography.  The subtitle of the book ("Helping your child grow up whole") really sums up the book.  As adoptive parents, all we really want is for our child to grow up "whole" and feel good about himself, who he is and how he came to be.

I think the first half of the book can be really helpful for folks who are not yet in an open adoption - the authors really explain who the players are in the adoption and the real life anecdotes are interesting to read.

I liked the second part of the book ("Orienting on the Child: Open Adoption's True North"), and I know I am going to be referring back to it again and again over the years.  Holden gives some good examples of how to deal with the question of "where's your real mom?" and also refers to other helpful resources.

The book is a quick read, and a great one for every adoptive family!  

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